I recently went on my first date EVER! Well, my first traditional date — the kind where you’ve just met and you go out to get to know one another. You see, I married my high school sweetheart. When we started dating we’d already been friends for a number of years. So this date felt like a first for me.

I shared recently that I met a man — a different man — but that was a date/non-date; just two solo travellers needing to find something to eat. I have to admit, I really enjoyed that evening. I was completely at ease. The conversation flowed. We discovered we had a lot in common. And then we went our separate ways without exchanging any details like last names or email addresses.

Then I met the second guy…

It was fate that we met. I’d done two last-minute adjustments to my travel plans, changing the towns I was going to stay in. I met him on an excursion from the first town. Turned out, he lived in the second town. So we made plans to meet up for coffee when I arrived there and he’d show me the must-see sights. We exchanged numbers to keep in touch and plan our rendez-vous.

And that’s when things began to change.

As we chatted over the days leading up to our next meeting, I began to feel like he was planning more than a casual coffee date. It was feeling like a date date. Did I want a date? I wasn’t sure, but I knew I’d learn something from the experience so I let it play out.

Fast forward to the day and, yes, it was clear this was a date date. I dressed in my best clothes (of which I have very few options as I’m living out of a suitcase). I even ironed them. I noticed how calm I felt. Good sign.

He picked me up and took me to an exclusive golf club for drinks and dinner (no tourist sights in sight). As the evening went on, it seemed to me that we were looking for different things. While we had some things in common, we were in different places emotionally and spiritually. By the time it came to eat, I couldn’t. I felt sick. Then he suggested meeting again before I left town. (What harm would it do to meet again? It was nice to have someone to talk with.) We left it as a definite maybe.

Long story short, the second date didn’t happen.

One thing I’ve learned is to look for the lessons in life, be present with my feelings, and be aware of what my body’s telling me.

My stomach had a different reaction on each date. On the first, I hungrily gobbled pizza while we chatted and laughed. The second, I ordered soup and could barely eat half of it.

My emotional vibration felt light and at ease with the first man and gradually felt heavier with the second.

My intuition and gut instincts didn’t send up red-flags in either case. I felt safe, in my power and in control.

The first man impressed me with his curiosity for life and his personal growth. It seemed we were in a similar place. The second was still reeling from his divorce. He was still in the painful part. I know he’ll get through it but I felt like I was getting pulled back into the memories and heartache of my own story, and I’ve healed from that. I’m living my heartfully designed next chapter.

3 things I’ve learned to trust more than anything else are:

1. The Universe fully supports my growth. (Affirm this to yourself.)

I believe I was meant to meet each of these men. I’d been wondering if I would meet a man on this journey and was curious how I’d feel about it. Both experiences taught me that I can trust my judgement. Both men were extremely kind and thoughtful. I now know for sure (again) that I can recognize a good man when I see one.

I can also see that I was given opportunities to decipher what I want in a new partner or companion — and IF I want a new one. Looking at what I liked and didn’t like about each helps me hone my criteria so I’ll attract ‘Mr. Right For Me’ when the time is right for me. In fact, after the first guy, I said to the Universe, “Thank you! That was a really great start. How about someone a bit younger, and richer?” The second man was a doctor and younger than me. (Oops, must be more clear on the age range.)

2. My soul is always speaking to me. (Another great affirmation.)

It speaks to me in many ways, especially through my body and emotions. And I value how I feel more than I value trying to please someone else.

3. My heart is my compass. (Affirm this, too.)

While I pay attention to and listen to my body’s reactions, I always tune into my heart to help me align my decisions with how I want to feel. And it’s through my heart that I hear my soul’s voice. The voice that said:

“You know who you are. You know what you want. Trust it’s out there and don’t settle for anything less.”

A love note from my Soul to you. 😘

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