Ten years ago, I was at my lowest point. My 35-year marriage had just ended, my mother no longer knew who I was (she had Alzheimer’s Disease), and my kids were now young adults and didn’t need me nearly as much. Then, two years later, my father died taking with him the final thread that had woven together the only life I knew and had spent a lifetime cultivating. The only life I thought I could have. And I was sent spiralling again.
If I wasn’t a wife, a daughter, and a stay-at-home mom — the roles I thought defined me — who was I?
I was beginning a new chapter with an opportunity to be and do anything, but I had no idea who I was or what I really wanted.
I’d forgotten what I liked to do before developing who I was now. The dreams I once had were now fuzzy. All the years of waiting for ‘some day’ lead me to believe they’d never happen or I’d missed my chance, so I’d let the vision fade. (It hurt less that way.)
Fear felt so familiar that I labelled it as shyness and considered it a characteristic. Something permanent. A handicap that would always hold me back.
Excuses felt like reasons which justified why ‘some day’ never got any closer.
Yet there was a yearning…
A yearning for the me I once was. The me that dared to dream and believed they’d come true. …and I could still feel the spark. The spark that fear and excuses couldn’t snuff out.
And now, before me was this new opportunity. This chance for a second chance. Would I say yes to it? Would I step over the threshold into the unknown and begin a new adventure, as mythologist Joseph Campbell outlines in The Hero’s Journey?
Would I keep playing small or would I trust the call of my Soul?
Would I trust I was being lead to something beyond what I could imagine, even though a larger part of me believed it would never happen?
For years, I’d had an ache, a yearning, which I now know was my Soul holding my biggest dream in safekeeping. The ache was the gap between living the life I believed I could have and the instinctive knowing I was worthy of a dream even bigger than I could imagine; my Soul’s purpose.
If I hadn’t said Yes to my Soul’s calling, to end the yearning, to have the courage to step over the threshold and choose ‘soon’ over ‘some day’,’ I wouldn’t be where I am today, living a life beyond my wildest imagining, travelling the world as my way of life. (Something my 16 year-old self wanted so badly but believed she was too shy, too fearful, too timid, too scared to do alone.) Yet, my Soul knew that MY dream would lead me on a journey that would change me immeasurably for the better, as YOUR dream will change you.
And my Soul knew, one day, I’d understand the importance of a happy heart.
Is there a yearning within you?
Change is scary because you’re stepping into the unknown.
But you’ve stepped into the unknown before. And here you are. Stronger. Smarter. Kinder. Softer. More loving. Wiser. Expanded. More.
…because your Soul called you forth.
What I know for sure is when you let joy lead the way, the gap between where you are now and where you’re meant to be gets smaller and smaller.
How can you tell?
By the way you feel.
What’s your Soul saying to you?
Not sure? Can’t hear it? I can. Sessions with your Soul. Learn more here.
What’s YOUR Hero’s Journey?
That’s what coaching with me will help you uncover as you step into the unknown and follow the call of your Soul.
Let’s chat about what coaching will include for you. No obligation. Learn more here.
